Can I Get Fries With That?

I love fast food. I love it a lot. My personal trainer says... "no fast food!" So I abstain from such things (most of the time). I get one day a week where I can eat anywhere I want. And it's days like that where I'm sure there's a great force of evil in my life. I have merely three meals (four if I push my luck) where I can partake in the foods that I daydream about all week. Today was one of those days where all I could think about was a greasy hamburger. Not just one hamburger either. And not just any hamburger mind you.

There are three hamburgers that I completely love. And I'd like to tell you about them. They are amazing. And for a fast food burger, it's like a party in your mouth and everyone is invited. I'd like to share them with you. I hope that you will try all of these burgers. And please... tell me you loved them as much as I do.

Burger #1: The Western Bacon Cheeseburger (Carl's Jr.)
This is a great burger. Especially if you like barbecue sauce on a hamburger. Which I do. Onion rings on a burger! Carl, you genius!

Burger #2: BBQ Bacon Sirloin Burger (Jack-in-the-Box)
Okay... imagine the Western Bacon Cheeseburger, then make the meat taste better and the bun taste better... and.... WHAMMO! The BBQ Bacon Sirloin Burger. This thing is awesome. It's a heart attack in a bun, but you'll die smiling.

Burger #3: The Loaded Steakhouse Burger (Burger King)
Holy crap holy crap holy crap. This hamburger makes me cry it's so good. CRY I TELL YOU!!! Do NOT confuse this burger with the regular Steakhouse Burger on the menu. It is not the same! This burger has A1 sauce on it and a friggin' BAKED POTATO WITH CHIVES on the top!!! Okay so it's more like a mashed potato product with chives... but holy crap it's like the crack of the burger world. This is a pinch-me-I'm-dreaming kind of thing. Please try it. Please eat it slow and savor it. And when you're fat and happy, come on back here and thank me.